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Aligwu Nyiam,
Trust you had a great week? I am still in solidarity with my Benue friends; I have come to you in Igede language saying ‘my friend’. Let me congratulate our Mothers; I am proud to be associated with different category of women who have impacted my life positively over the years: my daughter, my wife, aunties, my mother, my grandmothers and many foster women. I hope that one day; I will have the opportunity to write more about them.
I do not know if this applies to all cultures but I am sure that there are certain people that we revere and would not want to ignore their words ‘mi o lẹ ko ọrọ siyin lẹnu’. Many times, we unwillingly take to their stand because of the person involved. The response is usually you are so dear to me that is why I am taking this advice, e tobi lọwọ mi’. Let’s go to today’s discourse, disdain versus deference.
Disdain is a state of feeling of contempt for anyone regarded as unworthy, haughty, contempt and scorn. When a person is showing this trait, the person does not want to the opinion of the person. Many times, even at close range, the word of that person is not taken with a pinch of salt.
Deference is the state of utmost respect. The person has the ability to ‘correct, chastise and impact on your life. People are held in deference are usually more experienced than the person in question, they would have impacted on your life and their contributions to the previous achievements cannot be overlooked.
What’s the crux of the matter, everyone has someone that is held in deference; they have the ‘reset’ button to the person’s character when some wrong attitudes set in. For every relationship, locate that person your associate holds in deference and report the person so that restoration can happen before things turn worse.
The challenge for everyone is this, can you be held in deference? Even your children, do they look to you in deference? Have you lost your deference to some flimsy attitudes of life? All category of leaders at all facet of life must not toy with his deference because many times, once it is lost, it cannot be recovered.
There is a respected leader in everyone and it must not be lost to disdain.
Have a Wonderful Mothers Day.

(c)Olutayo IRAN-TIOLA, Lagos, Nigeria
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