And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death. Gen 24:67.
Comforting means to soothe, calm, console and reassure. Comforting is not necessary without an occurrence that depresses and saddens. Ephesians 5: 16 says, “redeeming the time, because the days are evil”. John 16; 33 also collaborates this, “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye have peace. In the world, ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” I believe it is a constant phenomenon to experience calamities in life; so, comforting another it is a way of bringing that person to be of good cheer!
With the foregoing, it is certain that the need for comforting will arise. Our target today is comforting one another in a marriage or in a relationship with brethren. If care is not taken, we could comfort wrongly as well. There have been stories of young men who want to comfort a lady and eventually impregnate such people. Comforting in a marriage is a cardinal thing that must not be joked with because for every family, there would be a trying period even if there is none at the moment, it is a reality.
When the trying times come, one should be careful about how such is handled. There have been cases of depression and death through suicide as a result of wrong handling of occurrences. Many people talk carelessly when the situation is trying. Remember our friend, Job whose wife told him to deny God because his labour of love seems wasted. Job 2:9, “then said his wife unto him, dost thou still retain thine integrity? Curse God, and die.
Trying times in our days could be grieving over the loss of a child, loss of job, loss of shop to fire, loss of many other valuables, days like this when terrorism is raving the nation, Nigeria. People are broken on many sides. People are deserted and they need encouragement. Leaders aggravate the situation most times, instead of pacifying people. So, the best person that can help out is one’s spouse at such trying times. It is very important to have the person that will comfort one.
This is exemplified in the life of Isaac. He grieved over the loss of his mother until his wife came into his life. People are being told during the wedding that your wife becomes your mother, wife, sister, aunt, niece and child likewise the man becomes the father, husband, brother, uncle, nephew and child. This implies that the person has become the center of your life. An old man once said that your spouse is the only person that stays with you for the rest of life. You are separated from your parents at marriage, by the time your siblings get married, you are further separated from them and when your children grow up, they would also leave you. Your spouse is your permanent associate. I believe that is why the Bible used the “rib” as the point from which the woman is made from, except in rare cases, the rib is not removed from the body.
Isaac got the replacement of his mother from his wife, he saw his mother figure in his wife, his confidant and that was where the comfort emerged from. Many men refrain from telling their wives everything, many men do not take the advice of their wives, many men run to their fathers for counsel, many men run to contemporaries for instructions and many men depend on tradition to run their homes. If Christ is involved in the marriage, it would not be difficult give in one’s totality to his wife.
The atmosphere where comforting can find expression is where love reigns. The man must love his wife and the wife must submit to her husband. Someone once explained that submission can be likened to surrendering all while love can be likened to giving all. You can only get comforted when the atmosphere is not charged with hatred.
Jesus did everything to ensure that we are comforted before his departure and the final comfort that he gave us is the Holy Spirit. John 14:26 says, “but the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you” but there is someone who has the role of being your earthly comfort and that is your spouse. Regardless of the challenge at hand, your spouse should first bear the burden with you, for you have no other person that can comfort you.
God has promised to take care of the fatherless, the orphans and the singles but for the marriage, God has given you someone or handed you over to someone. It was described as significant the day in which the pastor (God’s representative) took your hand from your father and handed you over to the man. Neither of you have any excuse not to comfort one another. God will help us to be the source of comfort to our spouses.
(c)Olutayo IRAN-TIOLA, Lagos, Nigeria