It is a great morning and also an opportunity saying something to you again on this platform. I am delighted to inform you that we might be tweaking this writings a little because the idea is that it should have a complete circle, which is 52 weeks. Subsequently, as the Spirit leads, we would give you something inspirational afterwards.
There are people raised in either a nuclear or polygamous families. After they attain certain level of independence from the direct control of their families; they now run into series of attributes that is not in tandem with the family that they evolved from. Some of these include; competitive nurturing of children with their other siblings; hiding all information about themselves and wards. They won’t offer support to the children of others because they want superior set of children. Fortunately, everyone will become successful in different fields of life and they cannot relate as relatives because of the wrong mindset implanted into them by their parents. Let’s think together about Nuclear Families versus building Families.
Your nuclear family consists of your parents and immediate relatives. In our continent especially, Africa; there are lots of nuclear families that adopt children of siblings and relatives. However, some of these relatives are not given the same level of care as that of the direct children. A Yoruba proverb says it all, “Omo Olomo lan ran nise de torutoru”. Those who were maltreated also became people of distinction through personal strive most times. I support the nuclear family clan; I enjoyed one, although I was much more with my Mum; and I have mine already by God’s grace.
Building families for me extends beyond biological birth. It is a way of influence which transcends generations. It is a simple way of keeping your name on the lips of many successful people. It must be said that building families is more expensive; time consuming and energy sapping. When you are building families, you are building freedom in some years to come. For example, an cousin paying the school fees of a cousin is safeguarding against societal ills in the nearest future that would involve their family name and likewise, blocking the holes of continuous begging in the future to cater for a family.
Parents should not show favouritism to their children and also elderly siblings must be very cautious and conscious of the ways they handle their younger siblings. These two disunite the family from the onset. There are some that are gifted in building families but they have stopped because of the discouraging attitude of their relatives. It is better to keep one’s head when some tantrums are generating and concerted efforts are being made to unite a large family.
The advantage in building families include; the ability to unite and defend the family bloc. It is also a way of getting the best cost as regards every effort; services rendered within relations would be cheaper. Direct access to other people and services; someone would know somebody that can do something for someone. This will in turn be cost effective. Talents, resources and abilities can be pulled together.
Many people had built people through their expertise while family members who need the same knowledge are not in the know of the existence of such opportunities. There is a great deal of stress that one saves himself by having the right contacts. Do not keep yourself at bay from a loving family but know that someone can build you from within your family if requested but if the person objects; God has a better plan for you.
My appeal is regardless of the mistakes made by your parents in nurturing you; the errors of your elderly siblings; do not keep that same mindset neither should it be transferred to your children. When families are built, a loving community is equally built.
Enjoy your week
(c)Olutayo IRAN-TIOLA, Lagos, Nigeria