I bring you greetings from Igbo land, South-South region of Nigeria today by saying: “Hello”. Hope you are doing good and you had a great weekend thus far. What’s the result of the gubernatorial elections from your state? God will stretch forth his hand of greatness towards our country. Amen.
Today’s piece will be highly controversial and I want to stand by it. I want to ask, how would you effectively separate a couple? How do you untangle the romantic aspect of their lives? The items bought together? How would you share the children? Unpaid loans to one another? There is no judge that can effectively share it all; someone who have more to loss while the other gains more than the actual contributions.
Separation is a phenomenon when one of the couple gets tired, get frustrated or gets forced out of a union.  There is a need to reflect on what you do wrong as spouses. For every negative situation, either of the couple would be at fault; there are times when the man is wrong but would not want to accept it and vice versa. However, when one understands how to communicate effectively; then there is a resolution faster than assumed. If we learn to unlearn what we have known over the years for the new things our marriage would teach us, then, we would easily change. However, life-threatening situations are the only condition through which separation is allowed.
Determination is having a dogged attitude to keep the union alive against all odds. I have found myself in very absurd situations in marriage and I have been tagged strict because I have values that I cherish. I might be seen as belonging to the old generation to keep this posture but I think it is worthwhile. Determined and faithful partners should be encouraged just like virgins. It is only determination that would stop all negative incitements from having its way.
We keep seeing God as having made a mistake creating the male and female gender to raise children. The roles are separate and independent of one another. You might have all the affluence to train the children but the wrong influence during the formative years remains with them, as such; the standard of the parents is the norm.
Taking lessons from the Western culture would not help us as a whole. If we do not play roles that are beyond what nature ordained. We would be able to cross the little hurdles thrown at our union- financial, academic, in-law influences and others.
Do not be recruited into wrong train regardless of how you got into marriage-rushed, coerced, willingly or hypnotized. Kindly learn to fight for it protectively, carefully and prayerfully.
Remember, whoever does not have what he stand for will fall for everything!
God help us!

(c)Olutayo IRAN-TIOLA, Lagos, Nigeria
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