E káasan,

That’s the greetings of a Yoruba person which means ‘Good afternoon’. It has been some weeks that I last came this way but it is all for good! The tap is still gushing but the demand of this time makes it seems like it is seizing from my end. I am sure the wind of the yuletide is blowing all around you; either it White Christmas or Hazy Christmas; May we all do it in good health.

There is a Yorùbá proverb, ‘ti obinrin o ba dan ile oko meji wo; ko ni mo eyi to san’ which means, if a woman never attempts two matrimonial homes; she will not know the most pleasant of both homes. We would want to consider this saying in the light of the first husband and subsequent husbands. However, this can be applied to all areas of life including our career.

The first husband is usually the stage of exposition from being naïve. The first husband has a lot of role to play in one’s life as it determines how wild and insatiable one would be in later years. The experience also determines if the person will want to hang on or find an exit route out of the union. For example, if the first company that one works with pays well; gives a lot of allowances and encourages growth; many people would not bother to seek for employment elsewhere until the statutory retirement age.

Subsequent husbands, from the second husband upward, usually, are tasked on many sides especially when there was a very damaging experience from the first union. This could have maligned the ability of the person to trust and stay loyal. As such, the husband strives to convince beyond all reasonable doubt that he can care and sustain the person. Unfortunately, the person coming into the union would be very sceptical and would have developed either a cantankerous, violent or defensive mind-set.

In all, some people will never go beyond the first marriage; some will prefer the second marriage; some will appreciate the first marriage while they are in the second marriage and some will regret both marriages.

I would plead with everyone, wherever you find yourself; please be the best so that we can create valuable experiences for others and not marred experiences. For those who are yet to make a choice, kindly examine your choice, if it will lead you to the Promised Land or an impediment to your progress.

Have a great weekend ahead.


(c)Olutayo IRAN-TIOLA, Lagos, Nigeria
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