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ECSTATIC DOCUMENTATION OF REALITY: A Man Like Me by ‘Debayo Coker

Source:
Title: A MAN LIKE ME ( A noteography of a Father To His Son)
Author: ‘Debayo Coker
Pages: 153 pages
Published: April, 2014
Reviewer: Olutayo Irantiola

There comes a time in the life of a young man when he ascertains his manliness when he gives birth to a child after marriage. As Africans, a man is extremely proud when he has a son. This led to the foray of ‘Debayo’s writing as a father to his son. The 153 page-book is about an expectant father who went on an “adrenaline flight”. His desire was to write a short note on social media pages but the flow culminated into a collection of notes.

Although, ‘Debayo calls it a note, I see it as a letter. Each of the note ends in a sign off. As he wrote in the book, Debayo’s first son was born in 2014 and he wrote this book in a futuristic manner; this book has all the desires of a father to his son.


There are many instructional advices that are essential for living which include continuity of family traditions. ‘Debayo wants his son to teach his children what he has been taught by previous generations. He states that, “My mother was a very positive influence on me, I wish you had met her but don’t worry I will teach you all she taught me” page 9.

Unfortunately, his wife too had lost her father but from her account written by ‘Debayo, “my PD caould not stop telling the story of how her father would come pick her from school, bare her on his shoulders and talked with her as they walked back to his office… I love that act and since your maternal granddad is no more around to do that for you I will be helping him out” page 12.

Another advice for the son is putting God ahead in all things. This he mentioned using Biblical allusion in the book, there were 4 Bible verses mentioned, the parable of the talents, wealth that develops wings, story of Joseph, Pharaoh, Saul, Nebchadnezzar, Joshua-like courage.

 ‘Debayo encouraged his son to volunteer for the collective good of the community. This was through his involvement in Environmental sanitation in their locality which comes up on the last Saturday of the month in some states in Nigeria. This is mentoring by examples.

Respect for everyone is also an advice for his son. Everyone has the trait of getting so full of one another but with such advice, the son has been taught humility. This was illustrated in the story of Aunty Kore and Uncle Charles.

Every child must be taught about responsibility. ‘Debayo made his son know some area that he needs to be responsible: in his dressing, in his academic pursuit, in handling properties, to adults and to humanity.

Parental discipline is crucial in the life of a child. ‘Debayo was able to portray that discipline goes beyond caning a child; he checked his son’s school bag to find an x-rated magazine there. He advised him against taking things from classmates. Similarly, he warned his son against unauthorized borrowing out of books from his study, this will be sanctioned by purchasing the missing books from his pocket money.

Realities of life was shown in the book through wrong exposure, loss of jobs, disaster, sickness, drunkenness, suffering, psychiatric challenges, teenage pregnancies, premarital sex, rape of a daughter by her father, gays in boarding schools and stealing of other’s items.

‘Debayo narrated a part of his growing up to his son, which shows the desire of a father that do not want his son to repeat the same mistakes that he committed while he was young. He, thus, laid bare his life before his son and got so close to him. The closeness helped his son to be free to tell his father everything about him. His father was able to detect his interest and helped him to pattern his life towards it.

The chapterization of the book deals with each topic per time, but it would have been expected that the chapters become longer because the young man has matured beyond short notes. It would have been expected that the chapters become longer from the time in which the young man got into Secondary school.

Although ‘Debayo attempted to answer questions that would have been asked by his readers.  The responses of the boy to his father’s notes. “In the meantime, I want to seek your permission to do a compendium of your responses to the notes I have written to you so far.”

‘Debayo knows that writing in another language in a book, the work must be italicized and also have the tonal marks. Yoruba language is tonal; a single word can have different meanings, for a reader of Yoruba language. The tonal mark is very essential. These are the proverbs in the book:
i.                     Ile laa wo kato somo l’oruko-page 16.
ii.                   Ti omode bamo owo we oni lati ba agba jeun-page 103.
Likewise, there are a lot of Yoruba proverbs and sayings that would have embellished the book for global relationship.

Some of the missing gaps in the book also include, details of the siblings are very sketchy, and the detail of the son’s dating, when they met her parents and the eventual marriage. Every man feels greatly accomplished when his son is getting married, the age of the son at the time in which he got married, he is about 18 years old and name of the granddaughter. However, this is allowed for the reader to fill such gaps.

Despite all that has been said, this book is well crafted, direct and engaging. Every growing child should have this as a handbook to guide in the journey of life. As a father, are you true to your son as 
 ‘Debayo made everything plain to his son? There are a lot of lessons to learn from this book which transcends ethnicity or gender.

(c) Olutayo IRANTIOLA
21st November, 2014.
(c)Olutayo IRAN-TIOLA, Lagos, Nigeria
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OTHER FREE DAYS

Source:
Horn Free day,
Some flouted it,
More private than commercial,
The siren was blared!

Let’s have VIO Free Day,
Police, FRSC, Army harassment Free Day,
Garage-Tout Free Day,
An Insult Free Day,
A Commuter-violence Free Day,
For once, a Pothole Free Day,
A Driving Free Day.

A Walk-Full Day will benefit all,
A Cycling Day will be healthy,
Dig deep into Road freedom.

12:25pm. 15th October, 2014
In Commemoration of the Horn Free Day in Lagos, Nigeria.


(c)Olutayo IRAN-TIOLA, Lagos, Nigeria
See The Best Street Style Looks From Paris Fashion Week
INMATE

Source:
(to lovers of Freedom Park, Lagos)

You will love to be an inmate,
Mating with nature,
With gory details made glorious.

You will love to hear history,
Seeing gallows turns theatre,
Bathroom turned fountains,
Lived by Independence strugglers.

You will love to see transformation,
Admin office turned gallery,
Pergola Prison cells turned Wi-fi hotspot,
Kitchen turned food court.

You will imagine how deadly it was,
With high thick fence that cannot be crushed,
In the heart of town,
For those who scorn her Majesty.

You will love to be a free inmate,
Rushing in to free arts of all sorts,
Colonially oppressed, democratically free.


18th September, 2014 11:29am
(c)Olutayo IRAN-TIOLA, Lagos, Nigeria
See The Best Street Style Looks From Paris Fashion Week
ESSENTIAL STRINGS

Source:
(For Supo Kosemani)
Supo: Thou tie words in strings,
Stinging many rules,
Who sang their fangs into both lives and livelihood,
You sang to inform millions,
Who cared to listen,
They sort for you,
You keep sorting them out in lyrics,
To them: you are a foe,
To us: you are our ear and the mouth that bites.

Kosemani: Such essential man,
Manning the doorpost of culture,
Indispensable to the preservation of Yoruba language,
Storing his heap of words,
Beautifying his lyrics with metaphors,
Fundamental to the pain of dictators,
Unyielding to those who wanted to kill his voice.

You have travelled with your lyrics,
You deposited the strings on the sky.
Leaving the challenge to other bards,
If they would confront the challenges,
And not dance to the tune of wads,
Morally vocal through the media,
Anti-corruption activitist from the studio.

Owe lesin oro lo!

Performed at the CORA Book Trek with Akeem Lasisi at Freedom Park.
14th September, 2014



(c)Olutayo IRAN-TIOLA, Lagos, Nigeria

Oh la la! Paris Fashion Week is in full swing. We’ve been busy spotting all of our favourite looks at the shows, on the FROW and, also, on the streets. There’s been street style in abundance this year, and we’ve loved keeping our eyes peeled for all of our favourite looks in between the shows.

Wear it dry, and you’ve got your standard dusting of color—classic and predictable (in a good way). But wet! Wearing it wet opens a whole new world of opportunity. “What you’re doing is bringing out the pigmented nature of the shadow,” makeup artist Vincent Oquendo says. “Whenever I wet an eye shadow, it’s when I really want it to pop—but it really has to be a special kind of product to be able to blend after it sets. Because a lot of the times when it sets, you get streaking.” Nobody wants that. In order to avoid any wet shadow mishaps, follow these guidelines:

Product

First, go with the obvious: any eye shadow labeled wet-to-dry. The Nars Dual-Intensity line is the standout—the singles come in 12 different shimmery shades, and there’s a corresponding brush (then there’s the newly released Dual Intensity Blush line, which was all over Fashion Week—but that’s a product for another post). Burberry also makes a few very versatile shades specifically for this in their Wet & Dry Silk Shadows. And the technique-specific eye shadow category isn’t just a ploy to get you to buy more product. “You can’t just use any eye shadow for this,” Vincent says. “Certain ones will harden up on top and become unusable because they’re not made for this.”

Baked shadows are also fair game—we’re fans of Laura Mercier’s Baked Eye Colour Wet/Dry and Lorac’s Starry-Eyed Baked Eye Shadow Trio in particular.

For more advanced players, Vincent suggests moving on to straight pigment (MAC or even OCC’s Pure Cosmetic Pigments). With the added moisture, they’ll become easier to layer with other products. For a look with more depth, try using a cream shadow as a based before swiping with a wet powder shadow. “It’s like insurance,” Vincent says. “You’re doubling your wearability.

Brush
This all depends on exactly what you want to do. “Mind the resistance,” Vincent says, particularly if you’re looking for uniform color across the lid. “I tend to recommend a blender brush, which is the brush that looks like a feather duster. If you do it with a stiff brush, you’re defeating yourself before you even start. The joy of a wet-to-dry is you have to get it right amount of product loaded up, and then it blends itself. If the brush is too stiff, it will leave the shadow streaky and then much harder to control.”

However, if tightlining or waterlining is in the cards, a much thinner brush is required accordingly.

Liquid
Do not, repeat, do not put eye drops, water, or any other sort of liquid directly on your eye shadow. This’ll screw up your product for later use. “Lately, I’ve been wetting the brush with the Glossier Soothing Face Mist, but Evian Mineral Water Spray is good for sensitive eyes,” Vincent says. If the top of your powder does get a little hardened by wet application, there’s a trick to remove it: Get a clean mascara spoolie and “exfoliate” your compact, Vincent recommends. This won’t crack the compact and will make it ready to go once more.

Photographed by Tom Newton.

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